To Dream, To Hope, To Serve
by Ria
Summary: After the departure of Leeche, Eclipse finds himself having to face some difficult personal feelings. But in struggling to keep these feelings private, he finds himself questioning just how far he’s willing to go for his young master.
1. Confidant

  
  
**To Dream, To Hope, To Serve**   
**Author:** Ria (ria_ruby@yahoo.com)   
**Disclaimer:** Demon Diary belongs to Kara, Lee Chi Hyong, Tokyopop and Sigongsa. No profit is being made from these – I do it all for my own entertainment (and hopefully that of others, as well).   
**Rating:** PG-13   
**Pairing:** Eclipse/Raenef   
**Spoilers:** General spoilers for Volumes 1 – 4. Heavy spoilers for Volume 3.   
**Summary:** After the departure of Leeche, Eclipse finds himself having to face some difficult personal feelings. But in struggling to keep these feelings private, he finds himself questioning just how far he's willing to go for his young master.   
**Author's Notes:** This part takes place during Volume 3, just after Leeche's departure. These are sort of… hidden scenes from the _manhwa_, so to speak. Each chapter will take place in the _manhwa_ timeline, but considering the pairing involved, this will probably go off into AU territory at some point or another. I hope you enjoy reading this! :)  


**To Dream, To Hope, To Serve**

**Confidant**

_How could I have known it would be like this?_

He moves and tosses in his sleep, a frown marring his face. He mumbles and groans, nonsensical sounds filling the silence in the room like the wind's whispers through a forest. 

I sit beside him, laying a hand on his damp forehead. "Is he having a nightmare?" I wonder aloud, watching him with mild concern. Perhaps he's dreaming of what marriage to that human girl would be like in a decade's time; he did seem rather taken aback earlier… 

My hand twitches; Raenef mumbles. I pull away, trying to subdue the sudden twist in my stomach. The thought of – _her_ marrying Raenef… I close my eyes, hardly able to believe what had almost happened. It was proper that she left when she did; Raenef – loveable, gullible fool that he is – was starting to become influenced by the drivel she was spouting at him. 

A true Demon Lord knows when to ignore supposed 'advice'. 

"You must open your eyes to beauty, Demon. Become a Demon Lord who laughs and shares in the happiness of others," she declared the first time she clapped eyes on him. How foolish, how blind, she is! Why can't she (why can't any of them?) realise that Raenef's already like this? Why do they refuse to see? How am I the only one who sees this in him, the loyal and noble teacher who must put up with his inattention, warped logic, and unconventional opinions? The patient mentor who smiles as he grinds his teeth in bewilderment, while his winsome, exasperating student beams up at him after doing something idiotic – yet again. 

How much more of this can I endure before my emotions become too easily apparent? My eyes flicker open as I stare at him, my hand trailing down his cheek as a sigh spills from my lips. 

Moonlight pools in through the windows, turning his hair silver as it heightens his beautiful face. He's delicate, sensual – there's no doubt about that. The first time I saw him in the crowd as the thieves marched by, I almost dismissed him if not for what Meruhesae had told me. Before he even spoke, I didn't immediately realise he was a boy – he seemed so fragile and slight. He was hardly proper material for a thief, never mind a Demon Lord. 

But yet here he is, asleep and dreaming: Raenef the Fifth, Demon Lord-in-training. And despite all odds, and the frequent embarrassment he causes me, Raenef is genuinely determined to succeed, and I can only admire him for that. 

Before this, I was able to hide my feelings for him and no one was any the wiser. That is the way it should be; after all, he is my liege and I am merely his mentor. While I may have feelings for him, I can never act on them. He is my lord and right now he is more than that – he is my student. If anyone beyond our circle were to learn of my affection for Raenef, I would be quickly disposed of as his teacher, with someone else in my place. And I could never accept that. I would prefer to remain as his tutor than never be in his presence at all. If all I can be to him is a close confidant, then so be it. I am not going to let my emotions jeopardise what precious time I have with him. 

Hah! There are many demons that would laugh at the mere idea of me having emotions, never mind _acting_ on them. I am the wise and noble Eclipse, who has faithfully served for centuries and whose pride makes him unable to tolerate imbeciles. Demon Lords would fight for me to serve them. 

And now my master is a boy, who's only recently realised what he truly is, with no idea of the power he is capable of – and no idea of how he's supposed to act, either. No wonder many see me as a laughingstock. 

And yet, if I had the choice, I would not leave. There is something that draws me to this boy, makes me care and fear for him. I would almost say I trust him, but that is absurd. No demon faithfully trusts another, no matter how close they are. Demons are only out for themselves – that is how it has always been. I refuse to believe that I trust him, never mind even remotely consider that he completely and utterly trusts me. Except… except… 

Except I'm afraid that Raenef really does completely trust me with his life, as well as trust me as his friend and confidant. 

And where does that put me, then? 

Raenef doesn't even realise what I am. My reputation is merely something he absently ponders while I attempt to teach; my ranking as a demon means nothing to him. It would never even cross his mind that I'm best known for my cruelty and ruthlessness – he only sees the side of me that he's convinced is all of what I am. He would never dream of destroying innocents, so he assumes no one else would either. 

But perhaps I am assuming, as I'm dangerously wont to do when it concerns Raenef. He never once doubted that Erutis would kill him if he hadn't broken her sword (however accidental that might have been); likewise, he never imagines that Chris wouldn't go through with his plans to annihilate demons if he had the chance. He's a curious mixture of naiveté and wisdom, one that regularly baffles me. The urge to crack my head against a wall is becoming a daily occurrence for me, unfortunately. 

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if he'd really agreed to dismiss me in favour of someone else, despite the fact that, up to then, he'd only met a handful of demons. While part of me wistfully relishes the thought of serving another, it is only a small, rapidly diminishing part, and now I find myself relieved that he accepted me as his tutor. The thought of another demon ever taking over his education fills me with dread; they would irrevocably change him, of that I'm sure. But that is why I can never admit to my feelings for him – I'm almost positive that I can be the only tutor for him. 

Deep down, I know this is a fanatical way for my feelings for him to be acknowledged by convincing myself that I'm the only one good enough to teach him. Perhaps I am the only one good enough for him. Or perhaps it's because the thought of one day leaving him feels me with an acute desperation that terrifies me. 

Of course, if I ever told him about any of these fears in the most casual way I could imagine, he'd immediately dismiss them. He simply can never imagine me leaving him and receiving a new tutor in my place; it is inconceivable to him. In his mind, it is simple – I promised that I would stay with him forever, and one's word is law. I can still remember making that promise to him, the exact moment our gazes met and I realised I was in far deeper than I'd ever imagined I could be. For as long as he wishes, I shall remain with him… and as far as he's concerned, he will never wish me to leave his side. And so be it. 

Raenef sighs in his sleep, and I quickly take my hand away before there's any chance that he'll awaken. But he seems relaxed and peaceful now, as if he can sense that I'm here. His nightmare, if that was what it was, is most certainly gone now. I have no more reason to be here, yet I can't bring myself to leave. _Just another few minutes._ Hah. If I had the chance, I'd spend the next century just sitting here, watching him. 

Demons are not meant to love. I can remember reminding countless demons of this over the centuries – and yet here I am now, reminding myself. Any marriages demons have, they are merely for political reasons or for the survival of a bloodline. There is _never_ any emotional attachment involved. But just look at me now, the wise and noble Eclipse, fallen head over heels with a young Demon Lord who hardly knows what his own title means. How far I have fallen! 

But even as I fall, thanks to my young master there is now a smile upon my lips. 

For the first time in… how long? I can't truly remember. I remember Raenef asked me once why I rarely smiled. He was so horrified when I told him I had little to smile about. He probably made it his personal mission right then and there to get me to smile more. As much as I hate to admit it, he succeeded. Not that I'll ever tell him that. He probably knows already, anyway. 

Raenef moves, now facing in my direction… completely unintentional, of course. Still, I allow myself to hope, foolish and unrealistic as it is. He's smiling, one arm flung haphazardly out towards me. I brush my own hand over it, my eyes sliding shut of their own accord. 

It is useless to dream. It is even more fruitless to hope. Nothing can ever happen, no matter how much I may want it to. But, damn Raenef anyway, my hopes and dreams continue to indulge themselves regardless, thanks to him. 

If this is the road to damnation, then Raenef is my smiling, affectionate temptation. And everyone knows the forbidden fruit is the sweetest. 

~*~

"Hey, Eclipse?" 

I bite my lip to avoid snapping (the oft repeated) "A true Demon Lord does not say _hey_!", instead steeling my face into a neutral expression and glancing up from my book. "Yes, Master?" 

Raenef stares into his cup for a moment, tipping it back and forth as if the liquid sloshing inside is the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. (I mentally hold back from choking out, "A Demon Lord _does not_ use his food or drink as an excuse to draw out an awkward moment.") Then he looks across the table at me, a troubled expression in his eyes. (I declined, at first, to sit at the table with him as if I were his equal. He replied by telling me not to be so silly; I was his teacher and thus in a higher position. Still much to learn.) 

"Do you think…" He trails off, carefully ensuring that the cup won't spill when he puts it down. He dithers, twisting his fingers together. I frown. What could be wrong with him? 

"Are demons able to love?" Raenef finally blurts out, nearly clapping his hands over his mouth the moment he stops speaking. He tenses, probably ready to bolt at the first sign of my reaction. We have never talked about love, affection, or anything of that sort; I suspect he thinks it's a taboo subject with me. 

As for myself, well, I'm frozen, my hands clutching my book so tightly that I'm surprised the ink hasn't smudged. It's rather difficult to ignore the fact that my heart is currently pounding in my throat, though I struggle to keep my expression neutral. No sense in causing him to panic… yet. 

"Eclipse?" Raenef asks hesitantly, watching me with faint alarm. I realise dimly that I've never shown such an extreme reaction to anything he's asked before. He probably thinks I'm going to throttle him. Personally I feel like I'm losing what little insanity I have left. 

"What… what made you ask me that question?" I ask at last, inwardly wincing at the strangled sound to my voice. Though it's hardly my fault – my feelings for Raenef aside, the chances of him having a romantic experience so soon had been slim to none. Leeche had been an unfortunate accident, since the original offering, a woman far older than Raenef, would never have shown interest in him. 

Raenef shrugs, looking well and truly embarrassed that he'd ever opened his mouth, I imagined. (Note to Self: Remind Raenef that Demon Lords are never embarrassed, regardless of the circumstances.) "I was just thinking, and… and… well…" He stumbles to a stop once more, his face heating. 

I decide to put him out of his misery. "I gather Leeche and her kiss caused all of this serious thinking?" I ask delicately, putting down my book and returning to my food. "Have you come to a decision regarding your betrothal to her?" 

"Well…" Raenef begins slowly. 

I chew carefully, trying to ignore the frantic twisting in my chest and stomach. He can't _willingly_ want to marry her, can he? The thought of Raenef married to her makes me literally sick. I put down my fork, too disgusted to eat. 

Just as I look at him, Raenef bursts out, "I don't _have_ to be betrothed to her, do I?" 

My relief is so palpable that I almost slump in my chair. "No, Master," I reply quietly, sipping from my cup as I watch him. "But as I recall, Leeche allowed you a decade to consider her proposal. Don't you think you're being a little… hasty?" _No, you're not!_ I scream mentally, but I know better than to voice any of my thoughts. 

Raenef looks vaguely ill. "Um, probably, but… well –" He swallows, twisting his fingers in agitation again. "– she scares me," he whispers, bowing his head as if he's admitting something shameful. "I don't know how her father copes." 

_You and me both,_ I think darkly, hiding one of my clenched hands in the folds of my robes so he can't see it shake. 

"And the thought of being _married_ to her…" He swallows again, harder this time, as he sways slightly in his seat. I raise an eyebrow in faint alarm – he's not going to faint, is he? 

"Try not to collapse," I advise him. "It doesn't look well for a Demon Lord to faint." He glares at me in exasperation; I smile crookedly in return. He blinks, then beams. He's frighteningly easy to please. 

"So…" Raenef says after a moment's silence, sliding his fork around his plate. I itch to grab it from him, but manage to restrain myself. "Are demons able to love?" 

It's my turn to blink, as scramble for an answer that will appease him. "I suppose we are, though it's rare," I begin, unwilling to crush his hopes immediately. "Marriages are usually for political reasons, or for the survival of a bloodline. But the son of a Demon Lord does not automatically become his heir – sometimes, a more suitable candidate is chosen instead," I explain. 

Raenef's mouth drops open in horror. He stares at me with horrified eyes. "You're _kidding_ me!" he exclaims. 

I shake my head. "No, my Lord, I am not." 

He slumps in his chair, cupping his face with his hands. "This is depressing," he mumbles. Part of me is suddenly inclined to agree. 

I fold my arms, frowning as I consider what I'm tempted to tell him. I shouldn't – it goes against everything I believe in. But… despite my best intentions, I can see his hopes being crushed in his eyes. 

Damn him for being sentimental. Damn myself for caring about him and wanting him to never change. 

I take a deep breath. "Master, if I may say…" He looks at me, forest eyes large and curious. "If you ever do choose to marry," I say slowly, "then marry one you genuinely love and care about. Demons live extraordinarily long lives, remember, and thousands of years is a long time to be married to someone." 

Instead of merely accepting what I've just said, Raenef watches me with a suddenly serious expression, his eyes thoughtful. I resist the urge to squirm under that questioning gaze. "Who was it that you loved, Eclipse?" he asks me softly. 

I glance away, relieved that he's only got it half-right. _It's you!_ I want to scream. _It's you, it's been you for so long, and it's starting to drive me insane that you're completely oblivious!_ I swallow, knowing better than to ever say those sort of things aloud. 

Instead, I smile faintly. "There was no one, my Lord," I tell him quietly. "There never has been and most likely never will be." 

He folds his arm, frowning in annoyance. "I don't believe you," he says flatly. 

I press my lips to a thin line, a warning sign that he won't ignore if he has any sense left. "There was no one, Master," I repeat firmly, locking my gaze with his. His expression is stubborn and determined; he's not going to let this go, I realise with an inward sigh. 

He snaps automatically, "How _dare_ you admonish me, vermin!" He blinks, while my lips twitch. 

"Progress," I remark into the silence. 

He glares at me, then pushes himself out of his chair. "I'm going to find Erutis," he announces. 

I pick up my book again. "Try not to enrage her," I murmur absently, flicking through the pages to find my place. Raenef sputters indignantly, while I use the book to hide my smile. He stomps away, muttering about smart-aleck demons under his breath. My smile widens. 

I will stay with him for as long as he wishes. Even if he wants me to remain with him forever, I will do so. As long as he wishes it. And if I can only serve him as his confidant and companion, I shall do so. 

I know I'm not the only who has been drawn into Raenef's web and is now unable to escape. Erutis and Chris both think that they remain here out of their own free will; I know better. Erutis already acts like Raenef's personal knight and companion, though neither of them realises it yet. And Chris – Chris may be the next High Cleric one day, but Raenef is already a softening influence on him. Raenef has changed them both, though he doesn't realise it, and I seem to be the only who can see this. 

Of course, Raenef's also changed me, but I knew that already. 

It strikes me then, as I turn another page, that we all think about what would happen if we chose to leave Raenef, or if circumstances dictated that we could no longer remain with him. It's so easy to forget that, despite his childish appearance and kind manner, he is a Demon Lord, albeit one in training. Eventually, he will have power over all of us. We forget that we aren't really the ones in control, that in reality Raenef will one day come into his power and command, once he knows all he needs to… 

So what will happen if _Raenef_ chooses for us to be with him no longer? 

I shake my head, trying to dismiss these troubling thoughts. Putting down my book, I reach for a piece of parchment. Half listening to Erutis and Raenef through the open window, I view the accounts with a sigh; we've gone over budget thanks to the surprise arrival of the two humans, as well as Leeche's brief stay. More problems. But at least I can solve these ones, unlike my own emotional problems. 

Then powerful, familiar energy swarms through the castle and I sit bolt upright with a gasp. _Krayon? What's he doing here?_ I hear the surprised cries of the three below and all I can think is, _I have to protect him._ Without pausing to think, I picture the courtyard in my mind and mutter, "Go." 

As I appear, my gaze falls on Krayon, who hasn't changed a bit since the last time I saw him, so long ago. But then I see Raenef staring up at him, aghast, and I know I'll protect my young master, no matter the cost. I'll serve him faithfully and loyally, I'll protect him, because that's what I'm supposed to do. 

Because I love him. 

**– End _Confidant_ –**


	2. Servant

  
  
**To Dream, To Hope, To Serve**   
**Author:** Ria (ria_ruby@yahoo.com)   
**Disclaimer:** Demon Diary belongs to Kara, Lee Yun Hee, Tokyopop and Sigongsa. No profit is being made from this – I do it all for my own entertainment (and hopefully that of others, as well).   
**Rating:** PG-13   
**Pairing:** Eclipse/Raenef   
**Spoilers:** General spoilers for Volumes 1 – 4. Heavy spoilers for Volume 4.   
**Summary:** After the departure of Leeche, Eclipse finds himself having to face some difficult personal feelings. But in struggling to keep these feelings private, he finds himself questioning just how far he's willing to go for his young master.   
**Author's Notes:** This chapter takes place during Volume 4, during some of the scenes and in between others. Eclipse's POV, again. Hope you all enjoy!  


**To Dream, To Hope, To Serve**

  


**Servant**  


I lean against the balcony, frowning as I think hard. _I don't understand,_ I think desperately. _Even if it is a world that the demon lord has formed, I should still be able to figure out whose dream…_ I close my eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. _…but I can't sense Master Raenef's energy anywhere._

Meruhesae's voice, a husky purr, curls through my mind: _"The greatest gift that a servant can give his master is his trust. Master Krayon told you that this was a threat. He's testing whether your master is worthy of you… which means he's testing you both, Master Eclipse. You are being tested, as well."_

My frown deepens as my eyes narrow. _What did that woman mean by trust?_ I think with not a little annoyance, folding my arms. My gaze lands on the intricate designs etched on a nearby pillar, my eyes tracing the loops, whorls and sharp corners, but I don't really see them. _Demons only rely on themselves. Even as vassals. A demon will only do what he himself wants to do. He cannot be coerced or persuaded. Can there be trust between a demon and a demon lord?_ Serving and being loyal isn't the same as giving trust willingly. I am his servant, not his friend. 

No matter how much I want to be… and more. 

I snort, firmly pushing such nonsense to the back of my mind. "Rubbish," I mutter dismissively. I serve, nothing more. 

But still… how can I ignore everything that's happened between us? No matter how foolish he may be sometimes, Raenef is still my master and I care for him deeply, even though it goes against everything I previously believed in. I can't just forget what I feel for him, even if he doesn't know anything about it. 

I turn and lay my hand flat on the smooth, weathered stone of the balcony. _Trust…_ The word hisses through my mind, almost making me shiver. 

I stare out at Raenef's domain, burdened and weary. "Is a demon capable of trust?" I wonder aloud. I know what Raenef's answer would be, of course, but my own eludes me like a whisper on the wind. 

Then Raenef's presence suddenly reaches me and I can sense his fear and despair. His voice echoes through my mind: _I'm sorry, Eclipse._

I react on pure instinct and find myself in a whirling chaos of power. Grabbing Raenef around the shoulder, I pull him to me, thrusting out a hand and yelling, "Magic Shield, circle nine!" The two powers clash, and I struggle to control the Elemental Magic coursing through my body and cope with the blinding pain from the clash of magic at the same time. 

Raenef gasps, as the magic dissolves as if it had never been there and silence then falls for a few scarce moments. I glare furiously at Krayon, who stares at me with wide eyes. "Eclipse!!" he cries. 

"Stop it!" Chris shouts at me, his voice high and panicked. He steps forward, yelling, "Taking the assault of the Dream World's Demon Lord in his own realm is suicide!" 

A growl from Krayon reverts all my attention back to him. He cups his hands, glaring at me with pure fury as power builds between them. "Eclipse, you dare block my attack?" he snarls, as power scorches towards Raenef and me again. 

My shield manages to hold, but barely, and agony courses through me. It's too much this time – I can't control everything. I hear Raenef's panicked cry, just as my shield begins to break. Power streaks towards me and blasts straight into my shoulders, with enough force to propel me backwards. I fall to the ground almost in slow motion, lying there as stabbing pain throbs through me. 

The silence is broken only by Raenef's anguished cry. I struggle to move, to let him know I'm all right, but it's so difficult… the pain, I haven't felt anything like it since the war… 

"E-Eclipse?" Raenef stammers, sounding heartbreakingly terrified. I _have_ to move, so he'll know that I'm fine… 

It's with a tremendous effort that I struggle to lift my head, my arm trembling as it attempts to support my weight. My other arm immediately goes to the worst of my wounds. As blood clings to my hand, I let out a groan. 

"Eclipse!!" Raenef cries, staggering towards me. He kneels down and places a hand on my back. "Are you hurt?" he asks anxiously. A foolish question, I think with mild irritation, before I realise that he can't see the blood properly on my dark robe, just moments before he actually does. "Eclipse!" he gasps. "You're bleeding." 

_The shield staved off the final blow,_ I think to myself, glancing at my shoulder while trying not to think about how close to death I just came. But I have to reassure Raenef, otherwise the gods only know what he'll get into his head. "I'm… I'll be okay." It's a weak reassurance, hardly going to convince him, but it's all I can think of to say. 

I haul myself up to a sitting position, inwardly wincing. I've been through worse pain than this – though I can't quite recall it now. I can deal with this, I can. Raenef is safe… that's all that matters. "So long as you are safe," I tell him firmly, enforcing my thoughts. 

I serve, after all. 

"What's that, you say?" Krayon's voice is cold to the point of worry. I can't recall ever hearing it sound like that before. "I don't believe it." 

Raenef and I stare at him, as my stomach tightens and I mentally prepare myself. Krayon doesn't like being made a fool of and he dislikes not getting what he wants even more, and I've inadvertently caused him to experience both. 

The ground around Krayon starts to shake and crack, a physical manifestation of his emotions. "Eclipse, protecting a Demon Lord to the point of self-injury. The demon world would laugh at such behaviour." I say nothing in response to this; most unfortunately he speaks the truth. Light blooms around his trembling hands. "The child you serve is a joke in and of himself… but you risk your life to save him?" Krayon demands. 

"His energy is building," Erutis yells, pointing out a fact that was rather obvious. 

Krayon's eyes are devoid of all emotion. "And – in your insolence – you block my attack." 

Power explodes around him in a cyclone, rock and dirt spinning around him. Krayon chuckles dryly. "I wonder… can you do it again?" 

I stare, aghast, knowing that this is different from what he attacked me with earlier. And if I couldn't properly defend myself last time… 

"En garde!" Krayon screams, as a maelstrom of power hurdles towards me with devastating intensity. 

_…what about Raenef?_

Even as Raenef yells, "No!!" I throw up my shield, but I already know that it's ineffective. I can't let Raenef die because of Krayon's jealousy and pride – I won't. It's my job to protect him… it's my duty – because I love him. What happens to me is irrelevant. 

Which is why I grit my teeth and mutter, "Go," directing all my attention towards Raenef. The look of shock and betrayal on his face as he disappears cuts a deep wound, but he is safe for the moment and that is all that matters. 

My shield shatters completely and the maelstrom of magic engulfs me. I accept the inevitable, hoping I'm prepared for death, when suddenly everything is suspended in an eerie quiet… 

…then I open my eyes as rocks fall gently to the ground around me, not even having touched me. I stare at Krayon in surprise and disbelief. I know him; there is no reason for him not having destroyed me. "The magic… gone," I say, almost in a daze. 

"What happened?" Chris demands, looking shaken and relieved at the same time. "The magic disappeared all of a sudden." 

"Eclipse, are you all right?" Erutis shouts, sounding every bit as shaken as Chris. 

I glance at her, then realise that I can't see Raenef near her or Chris. All thoughts of my injuries and near-death flee my mind, as I reply, "Yes! Where is Master Raenef?" What if Krayon stopped his attack to secretly do something to Raenef? It would be just like him, _why_ didn't I remember that? What if – 

Raenef slamming into me cuts off my thoughts. I stagger, my thoughts overwhelmed by the fact that he seems intent on hugging the life out of me. I stare at him as he clings to me, his eyes squeezed shut as his arms wrap tightly around my waist. For a moment, I think he's injured or crying and so ask anxiously, "Master Raenef?" Then he lets out a heavy, shuddering sigh, his face white-pale, and I relax. 

I wrap an arm around him and hug back, murmuring, "Master Raenef, everything is all right now." And it is, because we're both alive and he's safe and uninjured. I hold him close to me, inwardly delighted that he's hugging me, since this is possibly the only time I'll be able to hold him like this without feeling guilty. "I'm pleased that you are safe," I tell him softly. 

We stay like that until Krayon says my name. We break apart, as I look at Krayon with a less than friendly expression. My right shoulder throbs and I press my hand against it. 

Krayon looks unnaturally subdued and… spooked? I frown, but merely listen as he speaks. "I will return you all to your world… though I do not believe this child to be your worthy master," he adds, folding his arms as some of his usual arrogant expression surfaces once more. "If at any time you wish to join me – I will accept you." 

I resist the urge to heave a sigh, thinking, _Some things just never change._ Instead, I manage to remember protocol and answer politely, "Thank you." 

Krayon sighs. "Then, as you wish." 

I finally allow myself to relax when we appear back in our own world. I ignore Chris and Erutis as they bicker, instead turning to Raenef. "We are home, Master Raenef." I smile slightly. "Wouldn't you agree that this world is preferable to another demon lord's realm?" I enquire. 

He stares around at his home for a moment, his face thoughtful. Then he replies quietly, "Yes." He smiles faintly at me, a sad pensive smile, and I realise that he's older now than when Krayon first arrived. 

I smile back at him. 

My young master has gone deeper into the castle, hiding somewhere in a wish for some private time. It's clear why – when I showed him the summons to the Order of Demons, it was difficult to ignore his face paling to a death shade. Having to face the other demons once again terrifies him, I'm positive of it, though he refuses to admit it for fear of an admonishment from me. In some ways, though not the correct ones, he's learning at last. 

I sigh and close my eyes, pushing away the pieces of parchment before me. Propping my elbows on the table, I cradle my face in my hands and rub my eyes slowly. For the first time in centuries, I feel so incurably _old_. I've never felt the full weight of my years before, but now it feels like it's dragging me down into complete darkness and despair. 

In all my years of serving, I've had an impeccable record. No one – _no one!_ – has ever found fault with me or my methods. Hah, look at the lengths Krayon was willing to go for me to serve him! Though he should have known better than to expect me to serve him; he knows that my true loyalty is to the Demon Lord Raenef, whichever one currently rules. Knowing that Raenef the Fifth was being searched for, Krayon was hoping for the impossible. 

I cannot argue with Krayon's methods for trying to claim my services – he was well within his rights to try, at least, even though he knew he was blatantly enraging me. But then, Krayon is a typical demon in that only his concerns are foremost in his mind. Completely unlike my young master, who has currently disappeared from all of us. 

A mirthless laugh rises from my throat, bubbling to my lips with a partially hysterical edge. The conflict with Krayon has proved one invaluable thing, however: I would do anything to ensure Raenef's safety and well-being. _Anything._ The thought is vaguely frightening, not only because it goes against everything I've ever believed in, but because… soon it's going to be too difficult to hide what I feel for him. And when that happens, everything Krayon has just done will pale in significance to Raenef realising how I feel about him. 

My laugh is completely hysterical, now. Gods, I've never succumbed to _hysterics_ before! I just _don't_. Of course, my being Raenef's tutor probably means this is a delayed reaction that's now spilling over. Really, I'd thought my limited sanity would snap long before now. It still doesn't make it proper, but there's not much I can do except try and calm down, however impossible that seems. 

I drag my hands down my face, letting another sigh burst from me. I trust Raenef, perhaps almost as much as he trusts me. _I trust him._ The thought should be horrifying, except it fills me with a delight almost as childish as Raenef's. I groan, realising I'm slowly going mad. 

"Eclipse?" 

For one heart-stopping moment I think it's Raenef, and my head jerks up. But it's Erutis who's staring at me, looking slightly worried. I struggle not to let my disappointment show on my face. "Yes?" 

She stares at me for several heartbeats, before asking hesitantly, "Are you all right?" I gaze flatly at her and she blushes before she can help herself. "Stupid question, I know, but I didn't know what else to say!" 

I steeple my fingers. "No, Erutis, I'm not all right." 

"Well, obviously," she mutters, gazing at me intently. "You're really worried about Raenef going to that Order thing, aren't you?" 

I shrug; even though it's Erutis, I really don't want to admit my insecurity regarding my young master. "I have faith that he… won't be as bad as last time." 

"You mean, you hope that he won't be such an _embarrassment_ to you this time," Erutis says shrewdly. I glare at her, and she only faces my expression for a few seconds before looking away. "Sorry," she mutters reluctantly. 

"No, you're not," I retort. 

She smiles and nods earnestly. 

I sigh. 

"So," she says, casually propelling herself up onto my desk so she can face me as she talks. I fold my arms and glare again, but this time she appears to take no notice. "You really care about him, don't you, even though you refuse to admit it?" 

"What?" I stare at her, completely astonished; that had been the last question I'd ever expected her to ask. "What do you mean?" I try and convince myself that the rather hard thumping of my heart is from her question, not from the implied meaning of it. 

Erutis huffs and folds her arms, raising an eyebrow in what she obviously intends to be a patronizing expression. I reply by folding my arms and glaring. Neither of us back down and then I hold out one hand, palm up. A flame blossoms in it and she pales, gulping hard. Obviously remembering what happened to Chris, she resumes her normal expression and tries a different tactic. 

"It's obvious that you care about him, Eclipse," she tells me firmly, "and a lot deeper than you let on." Her voice has a stubborn edge and I realise that she's probably not going to let this go. Chris isn't with her, something I'm extremely thankful for. Dealing with one of them at a time is difficult enough; two at the same time is something akin to torture. Mortals. 

I raise an eyebrow, deciding to go for the option of deliberate misinterpretation. "Of course I care about him, Erutis." I wait for the expression of surprised delight to appear on her face, before I add, "Raenef is my master; I'm supposed to care for him." 

Erutis snarls and utters a suppressed scream. "That's not what I mean and you know it! I'm not blind, Eclipse! I saw how you almost got yourself killed protecting Raenef; I saw your face when he hugged you. You try to hide it, but I can see that you care for him, but you're also terrified of him ever finding out. And yes, I know you'd never admit that!" 

My glare deepens, even as panic starts crawling up my throat, and something in my expression makes her pale. "Why don't you tell him?" she asks softly, trying another approach. "You know he won't despise you for it – he's Raenef, after all!" 

I let out a sharp, abrupt bark of laughter. "I never realised you were so foolish, Erutis. Have you forgotten that Raenef's not yet even sixteen? Counting his age alone, my feelings are improper. But more importantly, _he is my master_ and the way I feel for him is against everything I once believed in! I have to forget about these feelings and ensure Raenef never knows about them!" 

She stares at me for a moment, her face serious and reflective, and then she says quietly, "So you do care for him." A pause and then she adds, "I think you even love him." 

I freeze and stare at her, aware that horror floods my face and not really caring. 

She gasps, her eyes widening. "Oh _no_." 

That's one way of putting it. 

Neither of us says anything for the next few moments, but the silence isn't uncomfortable, merely one of contemplation. "I guess telling him isn't such a good idea," Erutis eventually remarks. I snort, but hold my tongue for the moment. She sounds reasonably intelligent for the time being; it would be a sham for her to lose her temper so soon and revert back to her usual self. 

"He _is_ rather young," she continues, her eyes clouded in thought. "It would be strange enough for him to be told that you care about him more than just as his tutor, never mind that you _love_ him. And what if he figured it out for himself? Then you'd _really_ have a mess." 

I wince. Curse her for being logical and reasonable. 

"But," she says firmly, looking at me directly, "I don't think you should stop. Raenef looks on you as the most stable figure in his life. He depends on you – the way he acted when he thought Krayon killed you proves that. You can't just become cold and distant; he'll realise something has changed." 

I groan and rub my forehead. When had everything become so complicated? "So what do you suggest I do?" I ask sarcastically. The way she's acting is strenuously reminding me of why I detest humans so much. 

Erutis shrugs. "Keep on loving him as you do now. You might have the chance to tell him, or you mightn't. But never stop loving him until the day you look at him and only feel hate." A pause and then she grins. "Or something." 

I try not to let her hear the strangled sound emitting from my throat, but don't quite succeed. She laughs openly now, her eyes crinkling up. "Poor Eclipse," she teases. "You never imagined a _kind_ and _friendly_ Demon Lord could capture your heart, did you?" 

I try and make my snarled reply frightening, but it only sounds despairing. Her laughter grows louder. Then she quietens and looks at me speculatively. I raise an eyebrow and stare back at her. "What?" 

"I think Raenef needs you now," she remarks softly. Something flickers in her eyes, but it's gone too quickly for me to recognise. "Meeting with the other demons frightens him." 

I sigh. "I know." 

"He needs his tutor to encourage him and have faith in him." When I continue to look at her, Erutis growls and snaps, "Find him and talk, you idiot!" 

I bristle at the insult, but rise and start towards the door. Then I stop and turn to look at her. 

"Thank you," I saw formally after a few moments. 

She smiles crookedly and shrugs. "Someone had to knock sense into you. Figuratively speaking, of course." 

I storm off, muttering impolite things about a certain knight who considers herself to be a matchmaker. 

I track Raenef's energy to a remote library – a favourite haunt of the previous Lord Raenef, I remember suddenly – and stand outside for a moment, dithering over what to do. How can I still be his mentor when I feel for him in a way a mentor definitely should not? I sigh. This can't work. 

Then a light bursts through the cracks on the door and I start, my eyes widening. I don't stop to think, flinging open the door and rushing in. "Master Raenef?" 

He stands in the centre of the library, a breeze that shouldn't be there caressing his hair and clothes. His eyes are half-lidded and almost sleepy-looking. I stop for a moment, staring, before rushing forward with a hand outstretched. "Master Raenef, what…?" 

He wrenches his arm away from my hand, his eyes darkening with rage. He stares at me in disgust, his mouth curled in a sneer. "Such disrespect," he whispers in a dangerously soft voice. "How dare you barge in on me?" 

I stare at him in shock, as he whirls away from me and stalks out of the library. I stare blankly at the floor, my thoughts racing. His manner was so like the previous Raenef that for a moment it had felt like I was back in time. But… no… he is the current Raenef, a loveable, exasperating Demon Lord who I've slowly grown to love. Not my previous master. 

But… 

_Something… He is different. I wonder what happened,_ I wonder, trying not to worry at his sudden change and not succeeding. I can't ignore the part of me that thinks something has just gone terribly wrong. 

For the first time since he came to the Raenef Castle, Raenef is actually sitting in his throne. I don't find this at all comforting. I stand in the shadows by the doorway, ignoring Erutis and Chris' hushed conversation and the furtive looks they toss towards Raenef, instead concentrating on my young master. He seems… pleased at their discomfort. 

What is going _on_? 

I gather my courage and approach him. "Master Raenef," I say quietly, "since we will be departing for the demon world tomorrow…" I pause, then reluctantly continue. "Might I suggest you turn in early?" 

The expression on his face is one of barely-suppressed fury and I feel my eyes widen fractionally before I can help myself. He rises from his throne and turns away from me. "Don't tell me what to do," he snaps, the venom in his voice slashing through me. "Such impudence," he remarks in a deadly voice, before disappearing. 

I stare at the stop he stood in, hardly able to believe what I've just seen and heard. His manner is like the previous Raenef, but not completely the same. While my previous master had been cold and distant at times, he had never been blatantly rude or disregarded my advice so readily. 

I let out a frustrated noise. _Why is he behaving so differently?_

Footsteps approach and then Erutis says slowly, "Look on the positive side, Eclipse. Isn't he behaving like a true demon lord?" 

I stare at her, trying to digest her words. _Yes, he is,_ I realise. _However… I don't like it._ The thought stuns me, since for so long I would have done anything _for_ Raenef to act like a proper demon lord. Blast it, I've gotten used to Raenef, I realise. But now… now… 

"Anyways," Chris says as he comes up, "what's eating Raenef?" He looks politely puzzled and more than a little irritated by his strange new manner. I can't say he's the only one. 

Erutis cups her chin thoughtfully. "I don't know," she replies. "But I'm not convinced it's a bad idea." 

Chris glances at her, surprised. "What do you mean?" 

She looks at me. "He'll fit right in at that demon lord meeting tomorrow," she points out, obviously trying to be helpful and positive. "He's acting more like a demon lord now than ever before." 

I stare at her, unable to respond. I try and ignore the feeling that something has gone very, very wrong. Raenef is acting like a demon lord now, that is true, but… it's not right. It's not right that he's changed so suddenly and for no apparent reason. 

My eyes narrow. What has happened? 

I stare at the letter in my hands, trying to quell the sudden, uneasy feeling in my stomach. If Raenef finds out about this… I have to find a subtle way of bringing it up, somehow… My thoughts race frantically as I try and come up with the best solution. Raenef is a lot harder to address since his change; I can't just go up and tell him anymore, as I previously would have done. How have I forgotten protocol so quickly? 

"Eclipse, is that a letter?" 

Erutis bends over me, a hand placed casually on my shoulder as she peers at the sheet of parchment in my hand. 

I slide my eyes over to her, vexed. "If at all possible, don't stand over me." I never was one to allow people to read over my shoulder. 

She glares at me, brightens, then snatches the sheet out of my grasp. "Let me see it." I blink, astonished; no demon would have ever dared to do such a thing to me, yet a mortal does it without a qualm. 

I'm losing my touch. 

Erutis stares at the parchment with widening eyes. "This says… the Summons to the Order is cancelled. 

Chris comes running. "Let me see," he orders. 

She twitches. "Stop touching me." 

I snort in the background. Hypocrite. 

"The elders are meeting by themselves? No need to come? Does that mean Raenef doesn't have to go?" He and Erutis look distinctly uneasy. 

Out of the corner of my eye I see Raenef approach, and freeze. 

"I think so," Erutis replies. 

Raenef's face darkens. 

Chris scratches his head thoughtfully. "Do you feel a hole burning into your back?" he remarks absently. 

Raenef snaps the parchment out of their hands and scans it quickly, his expression rapidly darkening even further. "No need to come, eh?" he murmurs. 

Erutis gulps. 

"They'll do as they please, will they?" he continues in that deadly quiet tone. His hand trembles as it clenches the parchment, which suddenly bursts into flames. "How dare they?" he snarls. Then he laughs – cackles, more like. "I'm going to their little party." 

Chris and Erutis blanch. I jerk out of my silence and step forward. "Master Raenef!!" I cry, reaching a hand towards him and then letting it drop as I remember myself. 

He glances towards me dismissively. "Are you planning to stop me?" he asks coolly, making it blatantly obvious that he doesn't intend on taking my advice. 

I take a deep breath and speak anyway, hoping desperately that he'll understand. "If the elder demon lords have decided to hold a meeting by themselves, appearing uninvited would be the same as a declaration of war," I explain as calmly as possible. 

Raenef scoffs. "So?" His eyes are incredibly cold, like sharp evergreen glaciers. "Do you question your master?" he asks me, his tone implying that I'm currently on very thin ice that's rapidly cracking. 

I gasp softly, staring at him in disbelief. I have no answer for him. 

He casts me one more baleful glance, then immediately disappears. 

It's Erutis who decides to break the stunned silence that follows. "Eclipse," she says as she comes towards me, her expression serious with no trace of humour in it. "Raenef's sudden change is suspicious. I'm afraid that he might –" 

I cut her off, my voice deadly and soft. "I assure you… I am going to find out what's behind this." I absently brush my bangs back as I speak, thinking hard. Something has changed in Raenef, something that's affected the very essence of who he is. I love him, fool that I am, but now he is not the Raenef that I gradually fell for. And that matters more than anything. 

When I first found Raenef, I wished that more than anything he would act like a proper Demon Lord. Now I realise that I had no idea what I was wishing for. I grew so used to Raenef's pleasant personality that I never realised what him acing like a true Demon Lord would mean. 

I am his servant. I serve him, and will serve him until the day he dies. I do it well, as that is my duty and what is expected of me. 

I am his servant. I am not his slave. 

**– End _Servant_ –**


	3. Indecisive

  
  
**To Dream, To Hope, To Serve**   
**Author:** Ria (ria_ruby@yahoo.com)   
**Disclaimer:** Demon Diary belongs to Kara, Lee Yun Hee, Tokyopop and Sigongsa. No profit is being made from this – I do it all for my own entertainment (and hopefully that of others, as well).   
Rating: PG-13   
**Pairing:** Eclipse/Raenef   
**Spoilers:** General spoilers for Volumes 1 – 5. Heavy spoilers for Volume 5.   
**Summary:** After the departure of Leeche, Eclipse finds himself having to face some difficult personal feelings. But in struggling to keep these feelings private, he finds himself questioning just how far he's willing to go for his young master.   
**Author's Notes:** This chapter takes place during Volume 5, during some of the scenes and in between others. Eclipse's POV, again. Things are starting to hot up, now, and this chapter was actually quite difficult to do; so much information to fit in and all filtered through Eclipse. Erk. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! (And let me tell you, writing 'Demon Lord Raenef the Fourth' over and over again got _really_ tiresome… ugh.)

**To Dream, To Hope, To Serve**

  


**Indecisive**

I'm balanced on one of the thicker window-ledges, one of my legs drawn up to my chest with an arm draped carelessly on it. The night is cool and calm, the full moon casting her impassive, pale light over the land. I stare out at the surrounding landscape without really seeing it, my mind on the matter that has been plaguing me for most of the evening. 

I should be relieved that Master Raenef has become a true Demon Lord at last; it's what I've been striving for these past few months, after all. No more can the Demon population make a mockery of my master and me – now Raenef can take his rightful place as Demon Lord Raenef the Fifth with no one silently laughing and talking about him behind his back. My task is complete. I should be overjoyed. 

And yet… 

Perhaps I became too complacent with Raenef's innocence, kindness and cheerfulness, but when I look into his cold, cold eyes and see nothing but an empty detachment, my stomach twists and tension runs through my body. For Raenef to have become this hollow – it is not fitting, not fitting at all. Even his predecessor had his moments of warmth and sparse humour, infrequent as they were. Raenef the Fourth even respected me a little, often wishing to hear my opinions even though I was his servant. I was… valued. 

I can go on and on about how Raenef's sudden change is not fitting for him. In all honesty, it's not fitting for me. The new Raenef has no interest or use for me. In his eyes I am merely his servant, no more. To be suddenly viewed like that, after everything we went through – after I gave him my _trust_! – I can hardly stand it. 

I should be overjoyed and relieved. I am not. True, this new Raenef now possesses attributes I would have dearly wished on his old self, but too much has changed. He is not the Raenef I gradually came to like and even grudgingly respect. 

He is not the Raenef I fell for, and that makes all the difference. 

He even has little interest in riling Chris, an activity he regularly (unwittingly) participated in. Even Chris is cautious around him now, sensing a power and authority in him that wasn't there before. He doesn't know what to do or say to this Raenef, and he thus takes the safest option of not doing anything at all, if he can help it. And Erutis… I find Erutis looking at me with sadness and pity in her eyes. I don't know if those emotions are for her or for me, and if they're for me I don't want them. I may tolerate her, but I could _never_ tolerate her pity. 

I sigh and shift slightly, closing my eyes as something almost like a headache starts to throb at my temple. To be told that Raenef probably couldn't be changed back to his former state… it can't be true. I refuse to believe that idiotic, chatterbox book-demon. Why the previous Raenef hadn't destroyed him, I never understood. Loudmouthed troublemaker; my mouth twists from simply remembering the encounter with him today, 

No, there has to be a way and I will find it. Almost all magic has a countermotion, apart from the death incantations. There has to be a way to revert whatever Raenef did to himself. I frown, thinking hard. For a moment, I entertain the idea of retrieving my previous master's documents and spellbooks and looking through them. 

Perhaps. But only as a last resort, I tell myself firmly. The thought of reading my previous master's notes and ideas is not appealing and feels too much like betrayal. No, I will not do it if I can help it. 

But it doesn't leave me with much else to do, does it? I suppose all I can do now is tread carefully and keep Raenef from losing his temper. Which means subtly protecting those two foolish mortals, curse it. When we get Raenef back to his old self, I doubt he'll be happy to find he's inadvertently destroyed them. I sigh and rub my face, already dreading the task. But, nevertheless, it must be done. 

Having come to a decision, I make to rise and finally retire for what little rest I can get. But while going to my chambers, I cannot shake the feeling that I can sense a familiar presence watching me. 

~*~ 

It takes me a while to realise that I've been staring at the pages without having attempted to actually absorb any of their information. It doesn't take me much longer to realise that the words and symbols have simply blurred into dark lines on the faded parchment. Trying to read this book has been a wasted effort. I sigh and bit back a groan, lowering the book and returning to the problem that plagued me for most of last night, earning me very little sleep. 

I ignore whatever Chris and Erutis are babbling about (most likely connected to Raenef's abrupt personality change), instead deep in thought. I only snap out of it when a loud, long yawn permeates the air, made by none of us. We all look as one to see Raenef ambling towards us, his hand managing to half-cover his widened mouth. 

"For some reason, I'm still sleepy," he mumbles, glancing at me with bleary, open, _warm_ eyes. 

While I manage to keep my expression carefully blank, my grip slips on the book and it slams onto the ground, its pages fluttering wildly. 

Raenef's eyes – his _eyes_! – widen fractionally, before he giggles and breaks into a cheerful grin, practically carolling, "Good morning, everyone!" 

None of us manage to find suitable words in reply. The silence thickens. 

Erutis and Chris manage to finally break the silence, replying nervously, while I still struggle to even get my head around what's just appeared before my eyes. This is – what _is_ this? 

Raenef looks worried, his forehead creasing in puzzlement. "Why are you all looking at me like that?" he asks slowly. "Did something happen?" 

I gaze at him again, before slowly answering, "It's… it's nothing." A wonderful answer, of course, but instead I think, my hand cupping my chin and mouth, _Perhaps the enchantment was temporary? Come to think of it, I have not seen that book of late…_

Still not particularly convinced, Raenef shrugs and asks, "Okay. So… shouldn't we get ready to go to the demon world?" He gazes at us expectantly. 

I stare at him blankly, my mind racing to quickly reconnect all that has happened in the last day. "Ready?" I ask at last. "For what?" 

Raenef smiles easily at me, looking mildly proud of that fact that he's remembered something that I've apparently forgotten. "Remember, there's that meeting we have to attend." He pauses, then grins self-consciously. "I'll do my best not to embarrass you this time," he adds. 

Another silence, this one thick with tension; none of us has forgotten Raenef's reaction from yesterday. 

Erutis swallows, then says tentatively, "Raenef, you're not going to that meeting. Don't you remember?" 

Raenef blinks, a long slowly blink. Again. And another. And with another, just for good measure. Then: 

"Huh? What? Really? Why can't I remember? Did I say I wasn't going? How strange…" 

His eyes widen to the size of saucers as he babbles frantically, while I try not to cradle my face in my hands and let out a long, steady sigh. At last I ask, "You do not… remember anything?" What is going on? 

"No!" he wails, turning to me with a face overflowing with tears. I suppress the urge to step back. "What am I going to do?" he continues to wail, cradling his arms on his head. "What's happening to me? Have I become a moron? Is this Alzheimer's?" he cries desperately. The rest of us are silent, mostly due to a sheer lack of anything to actually say. 

As Raenef's wails escalate and Erutis and Chris try to calm him down, I merely stand and observe. It seems the Raenef we know is back, after all. Strange, very strange. But not entirely unwanted… 

Slowly, unbeknownst to myself, a smile creeps across my lips. Unfortunately, it's a smile Erutis manages to catch. "Hey, Eclipse," she calls, smiling. "Feel better?" 

I blink and start, glancing over at her. "Master Raenef is Master Raenef," I reply, shrugging, "regardless of his relative charms." It is, of course, a complete lie on my part, but what else was I to say to her? 

Her smile widens to a wicked grin, and I know she's remembering our previous conversation. "Oh, really?" she asks archly, folding her arms. She leans in close to me, her expression suddenly soft and gentle. "Then what was with that smile a minute ago?" she asks quietly. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that you were downright jovial." 

I start violently, my hand reaching up to rub my neck uncomfortably. "Nonsense!" I snap, glaring at her sourly. "Jovial? What are you, a poet?" I demand. 

Erutis merely starts to laugh outright, reaching over to fling an arm around Raenef, much to my dismay. "You're very lucky, Raenef," she tells him cheerfully. "You may be a moron, but you sure are loved!" 

What is she _saying_ to him? 

"Just a moment ago, Eclipse was gazing at you with such sincere affection –" she goes on, blithely glancing at me as if to tell me that, yes, she is delighting in making me metaphorically squirm. I do not squirm. Physically, at least. "All right, all right!" she decides. "I'll write a poem!" 

I twitch, mentally vowing never, _ever_ to trust a mortal again, especially a loud, obnoxious redheaded one. 

My retaliation is slightly unpleasant for her. 

~*~

Raenef's sudden change back to himself is almost as surprising as his abrupt personality change in the first place, but this time, at least, it's a pleasant surprise. I find myself thinking about it – yet again – while wandering around the castle looking for him, trying to find a reason for any of the changes. Perhaps that irritating book-demon had something to do with it – it would be just like him to tell is that there was no way to change Raenef back, and then do it secretly himself. He'd be immensely amused. I growl. Where _is_ that book, anyway? 

But it seems that Raenef is back to normal and deep down, as Erutis has already guessed, I cannot help but be glad. No more are my master's eyes so cold and hostile. No more does he looks at me with contempt. Things are as they were – with Raenef usually overjoyed to see me. 

I'm so grateful, it's pathetic. 

As I round another corner, I hear faint voices. I freeze, recognising them as belonging to Chris and Raenef, and then try to pinpoint where they are. My gaze falls on an open set of double doors. 

They're in the previous Raenef's rooms. 

A shiver crawls up my spine, as yet again I feel like someone is watching me. Then I quickly hurry towards them, picking up bits and pieces of what they're saying. 

"He had a much shorter lifespan than the average Demon Lord," Chris is saying as he and Raenef stare up at a portrait of my former master. "From what I understand, he was only five hundred years old when he died." 

Raenef looks mildly puzzled as he considers Chris' words. "Huh," he says at last. "Eclipse said that Demon Lords can live to be three or four thousand years old… so he really did die young. If lifespan is proportionate to power… maybe he really was weak." But he doesn't look particularly happy when he says this and stares up at his predecessor as he softly adds, "I wonder if there was another reason…" 

I can stand it no longer, saying clearly, "Raenef the Fourth was not weak." 

Both Chris and Raenef whirl to face me. "Eclipse," they gasp. 

"I have been looking for you," I remark, knowing full well that I went about my search the long way so I could think more. "I did not expect to find you here." I cross my arms, watching them sternly. 

Raenef beams happily, rushing towards me. "Eclipse!" Again, another of his strange bouts of hardly-contained joy at seeing me. 

Then he stops and glances back at Chris, who asks, "If it wasn't weakness, then why did he die so young?" 

I sigh, not immediately replying, though I cannot explain why I'm so reluctant to tell them what I know. At last I say, "In the history of the Raenef Demon Lords – indeed in the history of all Demon Lords – Raenef the Fourth was the most powerful." 

Raenef blinks. "Then what happened to him?" he asks quietly. It's my turn to blink as he continues, his expression serious, "He didn't die of natural causes, did he?" 

I stare at my current master for a long moment, suddenly realising that perhaps Raenef isn't as oblivious as he seems to be. "Do you want to know?" I ask finally. 

"Yes, please!" they chorus, looking at me with pleading eyes. 

I almost recoil, gaping at them. _Puppy dog eyes…?_

I gaze up at Raenef the Fourth as memories that I haven't remember for a long time surge back to me. "If one compared Demon Lord Raenef the Fourth to the others, one could say that he possessed less magic, naturally," I say quietly, at last. 

Chris yawns, folding his arms behind his neck. "So he really was weak," he drawls lazily. 

I glare at him as the atmosphere tenses. Taking my eyes off him (much to his relief), I stare at the ground without really seeing it, continuing, "However, he discovered a way to magnify his powers. He learned incantations. 

"Demon Lords normally use their magic without incantations," I explain. "By using them, Raenef the Fourth was able to get exponentially more powerful results from what little power he possessed. And his incantations were only effective when recited by him." I sigh, remembering in my mind's eyes how hard my previous master had studied to heighten his limited powers. 

Raenef gazes at me with large eyes that are vaguely puzzled. "I thought that any Demon Lord could memorise an incantation?" he asks. 

I stare at him silently; once again, he's surprised me. Perhaps I've been wrong to constantly assume that Raenef can't understand what goes on around him. Perhaps it's time for me to change my opinions. "Though the powers of demon lords may seem similar, they have differing traits," I say. "The incantations that the former Raenef Demon Lord wrote could only be used by him." I take a deep breath, then add quietly, "He understood them… and became obsessed with their use." I can see one of them so clearly in my mind – and my hatred of them returns so fast that it startles me. 

But it was because of them that I lost him, so my hatred is justified. 

I look straight at the two of them. "For the numerous incantations that he developed, he was renowned throughout demon-kind as their mightiest." _And he loved it,_ I add silently. 

Raenef locks gazes with me, his expression grave. "You haven't told us why he died so young," he remarks quietly. 

I close my eyes as the bloodiest memories hit me. "Do you recall our lessons about the Hangma War?" I ask finally, my eyes still closed. 

"The war between the demons and heaven's creatures?" Raenef asks, sounding surprised. 

"One hundred and fifty years ago, during the Hangma War, the former Demon Lord Raenef killed legions of heaven's creatures with his mighty power. No other demon lord matched this might." I can still see him in full battle-lust, his eyes cold and dead and ruthless. The skeletons themselves bowed to him. 

_The price of this power was the shortening of his life._

"Wait a minute!" Chris yells, looking slightly panicked. "It was a fight against heaven's creatures and not the gods?" 

Raenef glances at him. "You would know them as gods, Chris. Mortals refer to heaven's creatures as 'gods'," he explains, sounding for a brief moment like the student I truly wish him to be. 

"What?" Chris demands. "I've never heard that before." 

Raenef shrugs. "It's true. The real gods are way up above and they just observe what happens to us down here." He pauses, then mutters, "I saw them once with my very own eyes." 

Ah. He's referring to when I presented him to Odin and the others, before taking him to Raenef Castle. I manage to suppress a shudder. I, personally, do _not_ want to be reminded of that incident. 

"Because the creatures of heaven came down and helped the mortals, the mortals began to call them 'gods' and erected shrines to them," Raenef continues, oblivious to my reaction. 

I beam at him. "I see you have been paying attention!" I congratulate him. "Your reading comprehension is much improved, as well." 

He grins back at me. "Thank you!" Beside us, Chris makes sputtering sounds of outrage. 

"The battle between the clerics and the demons was just one small part of the war between the creatures of heaven and the demons. Perhaps because they feared Demon Lord Raenef the most, the creatures of heaven sacrificed their own lives… in order to curse him with an incantation." The words are a bitter irony in my mouth as my previous master's cloak swirls before my eyes, but blurred as if broken like fragile glass. 

Raenef appears shocked. "What kind of curse?" 

My eyes narrow as Raenef the Fourth's voice curls thought my mind. But I can't tell them. "It is not known," I answer him flatly. 

"However," I point out, "I assure you that the early demise of Demon Lord Raenef the Fourth is related to that curse." 

"So," Chris drawls, smiling in that irritating way that warns us he's about to say something dreadful, "he was cursed to death." 

Raenef groans, then gives Chris a disgusted look. "Well, at least he didn't die young because he was weak," he mutters. 

"Well, he wasn't strong enough to resist the curse, was he?" Chris snaps. 

"Argh!" Raenef bursts out, flinging up his hands in exasperation. 

As they glare at each other, I can't help but think, _Two sides of the same coin._

"So, what do we know about the curse?" they ask in unison, turning away and folding their arms; "Jinx," the snap. 

My thoughts become vague and lost in memories once more. "The former Demon Lord Raenef the Fourth understood the details of his curse, but he never revealed them to anyone," I say slowly. 

Raenef and Chris stare at me in surprise, but I purposely look out the window and up at the night sky. "It is getting late. It's time for you to turn in," I order them, assuming the role of the elder once more. 

Chris retires immediately, but Raenef dawdles, watching me with an intense expression that I rarely see on him. I give him a quick, fleeting smile, painfully aware of the pounding in my chest. 

He slowly returns the smile and disappears to bed, leaving me alone to wrestle with my thoughts. Why should my thoughts of my previous master unsettle me so, especially considering how I feel about my current one? 

And once again, I have the strangest sensation that someone is watching me. 

~*~

The others are… somewhere in the castle, since I've given Raenef the morning off. I lean against the wall, frowning. I've had yet another restless night's sleep, this time plagued by nightmares twisted by memories. My previous master looms before me, smiling gently. 

_That curse… _

"Ha! Isn't it ironic, Eclipse, that the Master of ever incantation should be bound by one?" His smile had a hard edge to it. 

I stared at him, suddenly realising that someone was very, very wrong. 

"I feel sorry for them." His eyes were hard and blank. "They have underestimated their foe and the elasticity of time. To manipulate time, one need only understand its nature." 

I took a step forward, feeling more worried that I probably should have. I searched his eyes for the truth that part of me desperately wanted to be false. "Are you speaking of the curse that the creatures of heaven cast upon you?" I asked, already know that he was. 

"Well," he said, waving his hand dismissively, you need no longer refer to it as a curse – it's more like a child's prank." He frowned. "It is the insolence that bothers me," he seethed. 

He linked his hands and tucked them in his sleeves, piercing me with sharp eyes. "There's nothing for you to worry about, Eclipse." He paused, tilting his head as he added softly, "A bit of advice, though: All you need to do is adapt yourself to time." 

I fold my arms, staring hard at the ground. _Two days later, he died. But what he said to me that day…_

"…made me certain he had a plan. He would not have died without some plan," I whisper. 

**The power that controls the world influences all things. Existence is possible only within a given span of time. **

The one who controls time is the one who has the world in his hands. 

All things exist within time. 

I turn and stare out over the gardens, the darkness of my thoughts not making my mood any easier. I frown, trying to unravel the cryptic words that my previous master had told me only days before his death. 

I'd come to care for him like a son, like a younger brother, and he hadn't even said goodbye. I bow my head, letting a great sigh heave from my throat. 

Someone's footsteps tapping against the footpath below make me look up, ready to snap at whoever was approaching me. Except for Raenef. I've found that lately it's getting harder and harder to snap at him. My feelings for him are starting to show through my every action towards him. Soon, I won't be able to hide them anymore. 

Then my gaze lands on someone who can't possibly be here. It can't be… but it is. My heart throbs painfully in my throat, but I still manage to let out a startled, disbelieving gasp. 

_Master Raenef?_ I think, as my world, tips, swirls and spins wildly out of control. 

Raenef the Fourth smirks up at me, his eyes amused. 

I continue to stare blankly at him, before immensely strong power surges nearby. My eyes widen. _That power…_

I turn and gasp at the two-bright light pulsing in the sky. Familiar light… _no_. "Creatures of heaven! Why are they here?" Something squeezes tightly around my heart. "Master Raenef is in danger!" I cry, momentarily forgetting who's before me. 

I start the process of teleportation, before a cold, commanding voice orders, "Stop, Eclipse." I turn and stare at him as he appears before me. He looks at me dispassionately. "There is nothing you can do." 

I stare at the ever-brightening light, the tightening in my chest becoming even more painful. I can't lose him, not now… 

"The fulfilment has begun," my previous master tells me softly, but his eyes gleam. "Until it is complete, there is nothing anyone can do." 

"No!" I snarl in reply, panic making me forget my place. "We must go to them, at least!" 

He raises an eyebrow at my behaviour, but nods. "Very well." 

We transport ourselves onto the lawns and approach Raenef and the others. My chest tightens further as I realise the creatures of heaven are already gone in the short moments it took us to transport. Raenef notices us before the others and his silence unnerves me more than I'd like to admit. For a moment, a symbol flashes on his forehead. Then he smiles, a cold, cold smile, and cups his hands. 

I'm unprepared to deal with the blast of power, far stronger than anything I've come to expect from Raenef, which explodes towards us. My eyes widen; that blast is potentially fatal! 

The Raenef beside me doesn't even flinch and merely holds out his hand, palm out, and shields us with the ease that is normal for him. 

"He is awakened," he says after first answering Chris' question, the light in his hands illuminating his pale face. "He is far more complicated that his predecessor," he adds, referring to Raenef's first personality change. 

I stare at him, trying to keep up with these revelations by doing some extremely quick thinking. My stomach begins to churn. 

"Hey, Eclipse!" Erutis calls to me. "Does Raenef know that young man?" She looks understandably worried that Raenef has just blasted power at an apparent stranger. 

I glance at her, then stare at my two masters facing each other down. I sigh, becoming worried myself, now. "He is the former Demon Lord Raenef," I say at last. 

The astonished reactions of Chris and Erutis quickly break into arguing between them, which strains my already fragile self-control. "Please," I mutter, my tone dangerously soft, "I have enough to think about as it is. Please stop." 

They regard the flame in my palm and pale. "Er – sure thing," they stammer. Apparently, I haven't lost my touch after all. 

My two masters continue to stare each other down, much to my discomfort. This does not bode well. At last, the previous Raenef says, "You look as if you know what has happened to you." He does not seem the least bit surprised as the rest of us would be, instead mildly amused. Well… he doesn't know Raenef, so that is no surprise. 

Raenef merely looks at him coldly. "I am not an idiot," he replies simply, speaking with much more confidence than he normally would. 

"Master Raenef," I interrupt, then glance at both of them before turning to face my previous master. "What is going on?" I pause, before adding, "You died in my arms, Master Raenef." For the briefest of moments, the images flash back at me, but I quell them before they can ensnare me and make me relive his death once again. 

He smiles at me, his arrogant, familiar smirk and asks, "Why are you so surprised, Eclipse? Did you have so little faith in me as to believe I'd die from a simple curse?" 

My eyes widen. 

He calmly locks gazes with me. "At one point, I mentioned time." 

"Time?" Chris asks, looking confused. 

I frown as pieces of this strange puzzle start to click together. "You told me to adapt myself to time," I say slowly. 

The former Raenef shrugs. "According to the curse, today was to have brought my death." 

_What?_ my mind bellows, as my eyes widen even father. "How?" I ask him dumbly. "You died many years ago. Are you saying that your death, years ago, was not due to the curse?" Deep down, I curse my foolishness and my lack of loyalty. How could I have even thought of doubting my master's ability to manipulate people and events to suit his own intentions? Of _course_ a simple curse could never have destroyed him. 

He glances at me, his expression slightly disappointed, as if he'd expected me to have this all figured out decades ago. He probably did. "The curse," he says slowly, "was tied to the name of Raenef." 

Something comes together with frightening clarity in my mind. Oh, _no_. My stomach twists and writhes. 

Raenef the Fourth smiles and chuckles. "It ingeniously manipulated time." My former master, after all, is the best at manipulation. "They shortened my life by three thousand and five hundred years and brought forth my son from the distant future to this time. As such, my son was forced to exist in an unnatural time frame… where, ultimately, he would wipe himself out." 

I swallow. His son… _Raenef_. My beloved master, who has all along been a pawn in his predecessor's games, unbeknownst to any of us. 

"Your son from the distant future… is Raenef?" Erutis asks, shocked. Chris looks like he's ready to kill over, much to her annoyance and my chagrin. For a genius, he leaves a lot to be desired. 

"Yes." 

I turn to face my master, who's watching us all with no real concern for our reactions. That strange symbol glows eerily on his forehead, as his frozen, dispassionate eyes regard us. 

"I am a product of the future," he states flatly. "I was brought here through time. My personality was fragmented by the journey. I obtained all of Raenef the Fourth's magical abilities and intelligence, while my innocent self arrived with only the magical powers within his body." He shrugs, not appearing particularly concerned. "That is what the creatures of heaven were scheming for." 

He lets out a bored sigh, before adding, "Because of the split, I will eventually go mad… and destroy myself." His cold eyes stare straight at me for a moment, as he drawls, "For a demon to lose his mind is to forfeit his existence." 

A shiver crawls down my spine, as the student teaches the tutor a valuable lesson. 

Raenef the Fourth smiles, watching Raenef with interest. For a moment, he looks like he's quite proud of his heir. "You understand," he remarks. "If things proceed as planned, within a short space of time, you will die." 

I suddenly remember that the Raenef Demon Lords routinely slaughter their chosen heirs if they do not live up to their expectations or complicate matters. I breathe in sharply. 

"And from the distant, distant future, your heir will be drawn," Raenef the Fourth continues, as casually as if he's discussing the weather. "However, magic is temporally unstable. And, during the long span of time required for your heir to arrive, our magic will undoubtedly dissipate into space." 

He smiles a cold, cruel smile as he plays his last trump card. "Ultimately, the Demon Lord Raenef will completely disappear from this world."` 

My chest tightens to an unbearable level, as the edges of my vision darken slightly. _Disappear?_ Raenef will simply be… gone? 

"Raenef is going to disappear?" Erutis cries. 

Raenef simply raises an eyebrow, faintly amused at her reaction. "I understand," he says with a dismissive turn of his head. "That's not what's important." He stares hard at his predecessor. "What did you mean, today was supposed to bring the hour of your death?" 

Raenef the Fourth's smile widens, as a calculating gleam fills his eyes. "Let's see…" he murmurs, as he turns to look at Chris. "You, young cleric," he commands. 

Chris starts, apparently astonished that Raenef the Fourth would address him. Come to think of it, he hasn't said much during all this. "Me?" he asks dumbly, pointing at himself. 

My previous master ignores his apparent stupidity, instead saying, "You are a servant of Rased… and a friend of Raenef, aren't you?" 

Chris frowns, looking defensive, before Raenef the Fourth's smile widens to a satisfied grin. "If you wish to save that child… use the power of your god to attack him," he says simply. 

I inhale sharply, my eyes widening. Fear floods my veins. _What?_

**– End _Indecisive_ –**


End file.
